Take A Stand Rather Than Dictation You Football Writers

PHIL MacGiolla Bhain, the Celtic supporter in Donegal with the Rangers' obsession, for which he can be forgiven, since, if you want to really know what is going-on inside the Palace of Laughter which is Ibrox Stadium today, then Phil's yer man; calls the serried ranks of the Scottish Football Writers Association – 'The Stenographers'. He is right to do so.

Phil Mac Giolla Bhain - on the money with the football writers

A stenographer takes down and rewrites the words of someone more important than they. Sadly, that is increasingly what passes for “football writing” in Scotland today.

Far too many sports pages are filled with lazily-written pieces, in which some ex-Rangers players assures Ra Peepul that all the club needs is a bit more money and all will be well, ten-in-a-row cannot happen and title 55 is just round the corner; while the next page has some retired Celtic Hero assuring TGFITW that they are going to continue to rule the known universe for the next two and a half centuries.

The build-up to this weekend's Scotland v England game at Hampden is all about the usual suspects saying nice things about Scott Brown, then bigging-up Kieran Tierney. We also have the usual round of historical stuff, written by guys who think football only began with the formation of the English Premiership.

Speaking of such pieces – here are my Best of Scotland and England teams, based on the guys I actually saw playing in Scotland v England games – both are in 4-4-2 formation:

Graeme Souness, about to tackle Kevin Keegan; him taking-on

Scotland: Alan Rough; Sandy Jardine, Alex McLeish, Willie Miller, Danny McGrain; Jimmy Johnstone, Graeme Souness, Jim Baxter, Davie Wilson; Denis Law, Kenny Dalglish.

England: Gordon Banks; Jimmy Armfield, Terry Butcher, Bobby Moore, Ray Wilson; Stanley Matthews, Duncan Edwards, Johnny Haynes, Tom Finney; Jimmy Greaves, Bobby Charlton.

 Duncan Edwards, would be a titanic midfield scrap

In picking these XIs, I have in some cases selected known, proven units over all-star selections, and gone on the assumption, a star in one era would be a star in any era. You note the absence of present-day stars, or any of England's Golden Generation. Yes, I accept, modern conditioning and diet means they might be better athletes than some of the old-timers I have named, but, when it comes to football ability, I am going with the old-timers.

My teams will never meet – they never could, but, what a game it would have been, before Scotland won – narrowly by the odd goal in nine maybe.

Any way, back to the main thrust of my thesis. We see a lot of opinion pieces, which are nothing more than the thoughts of a once-well-known player – where has real opinion, by football writers, on football matters, gone?

I know, the Scottish football writers of the typewriter rather than the lap top age were often denigrated: “Fans with typewriters” they were called. Maybe so, but, go and look at some of the archives, you see more analysis and opinion in one match report than you see in a fortnight of opinion pieces nowadays.

I simply love going into the Herald archive and reading Cyril Horne, ranting after a “disgraceful” Scottish performance, such as a 1-1 draw in Wales. No writer today will, as Cyril frequently did, dismiss one of the Scotland team with a line like: “those of us who questioned his selection were proved correct – he was useless”. To be as honest in one's thoughts today would be to risk never being granted access to a player from his club, ever again.

Old Cyril is a real hero of mine – just behind one of his successors: the sainted Ian “Dan” Archer. After all, you have to love a guy who, as Cyril did, on 19 June, 1954, in the press box of the Sankt Jakob Stadion in Basle, apologiesed to his colleagues for what he was abot to do, then stood up and “chinned” a gloating Uruguayan journalist. The swarthy senor's crime – Cyril assessed it as being too-happy with the South American side's demolition of Scotland. That game finished 7-0 to Uruguay, but, crucially 1-0 to the Scottish press.

Basle, 1954 - 7-0 to Uruguay on the field: 1- to Scotland in the press box

Of course, being critical was easier then – the Scotland team was picked by the SFA Selection Committee, and it has always been open season on “the blazers”. A writer today who criticised Gordon Strachan – 2017's one-man selection committee - would not get far in trying to cover the national side.

But, I still remember the advice given me by my old theatre critic colleague: “You are a critic dear boy – criticise”.

That is my advice to today's young guns of the SFWA – be more-critical, but, be constructive. Scottish football is in a mess. We will, while our continued support of Scotland against England is surely a prime example of hope over expectation, continue to support the national team.

But, we will do them more good, if, our football writers would stop being stenographers, start being critics, and start pointing-out the many things wrong with Scottish football. Then agitating as they never have before for the much-needed and necessary changes.

Don't just come out on Monday morning with the old: “Disaster for Scotland” headlines, then start speculating about who should get the poisoned chalice of the managership after WGS.

Be critical, be constructive and start naming and shaming – but, don't start in the technical area, start in the boardrooms and corridors of power in Scotland. These are the Augean Stables of the game up here. They badly need mucking out.