OK – I DON'T suppose it would take the wit and wisdom of a great defence lawyer, such as the fictional Perry Mason or the wonderful Alan Shore of Boston Legal's Crane, Poole and Schmidt to get them off; so, charging the respective clubs with replaying the War which followed “The Glorious Revolutioon” of 1689 would be beyond even those masters of useless, expensive and time-wasting Court time, the SNP-led Scottish Government.
The High Heid Yins of Rangers and Celtic are not to blame for Bigotry and Sectarianism in Scotland, it's a bit more widely ingrained than in their fan base, but, it suits “The Suits” to ignore “Scotland's Not-So Secret Shame” - the bile and invective and rake-in the cash at the turnstiles and the club shops.
The late, great Ian Archer got the Rangers support in one, 50 years ago now. They may have calmed down a bit in the intervening years, but, The Bears' ability to shite in the streets of Glasgow, if not in thr woods, was again demonstrated on Sunday.
On the other side of the coin, Celtic's Green Brigade have their moments when you realise, there is intelligent thought there, but, at other times, they can match any degree of silliness across the city. I get the distinct impression, neither club has a Scooby what they should do about these young and ultra-commited fans.
Now, I may be wrong in blaming these twa cheeks o' the same erse for causing Sunday's shite-show in the city centre, but, the fact the loonies seen running wild were all dressed alike, does indicate a degree of fore-thought – laced with an incredulous: “What were they thinking” - other than “We're untouchable.”
I missed most of the match, due to a family commitment, switching-on in time to see time added-on, the half hour of official Extra Time and the penalty shoot-out. Now, we all know this is a flawed Rangers team which still needs work. But, given how his team eventually won, I feel Mr Desmond should be having a word with his underlings – he is clearly not getting value for money for the millions of Euros he has invested in his squad.
The irony, of course, is that the mainly-Scottish followers who yearn to be Irish, have more Scots to support than the mainly Scottish follow-followers who yearn to be English have, just another part of the madness of this fixture.
Of course, the use of pyrotechnics was again pounced upon by the remnants of our mainstream media, a branch of Scottish life which, like the decision-makers within football governance, is quite happy to wring their hands and moan about Old Firm misbehaviour – just don't expect them to do anything concrete about it.
Sectarianism and Bigotry is not “Scotland's Secret Shame” - because it hasn't been a secret for at least my life-time, if not a lot longer. Scottish Football's Secret Shame is the fact, these two clubs are out of control, just as they have been for more than the last 100 years, and Scottish Football is not prepared to bring them to heel.
When you see the Green Brigade or the Union Bears putting-on one of their orchestrated displays before and during games, you have to accept, it's all being done with some degree of acknowledgement from the clubs – so there has to be, even via the back-door, some sort of conversation between fans group and club. Well then, make the clubs responsible for the behaviour of their fans.
It's the same with doling-out away tickets, you are never going to get all the Old Firm season ticket holders, or official supporters club members into any other other ten Premiership grounds; so a system has to be in-place to get the smaller allocation of tickets distributed.
The clubs have to know, which fans group has which tickets, so, if ther are problems of bad behaviour, then it will not require the deductive powers of an Inspector Morse or Lieutenant Columbo to find out which particular fans group or supporters club, the neds belong to – deny that group tickets until behaviour improves and the bad apples are removed, and, in time, the problem goes away.
All it would take is the will to do it. I knew there would be a problem.
As for the game itself. Apart from the bit I watched live, and the goal flashes seen on the TV News, I didn't see enough to give a full critique. In Extra Time, both sides were playing not to make a mistake and hoping to win it on penalties. Nothing I saw changed my view, these are two not very good Old Firm teams, playing some poor football.
Eight of the nine penalties were well-struck; the badly-hit one was saved. But, as a young goalkeeper, I studied my part in penalties and had a pretty-good record of saving them, albeit at a far-lower level than a national cup final.
Watching the penalties on Sunday, I knew, even before the kick was taken, where the ball was going. If I could work that out, why did Jack Butland in particular guess wrong so often? Doesn't he, or his club, do due diligence on possible penalty takers, the information is out there?
Both teams would also, I feel, benefit from ditching the badge-kissing imports and giving a chance to native talent. Celtic have, at the moment, the “Fans on the Park” who dig that bit deeper. With John Souttar absent, Rangers are missing such an animal and they will win nothing until they get some back in the team on a regular basis.
Of course, that same advice about badge-kissers also holds good for the rest of our top-flight teams.
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