They Couldn't - Surely?

I AM STARTING to worry; with the luck they have been carrying thus far, this flawed England team just could go all the way and finally end what their deluded fans see as 60 years of hurt and bring it home. Mind you, if they do, it would probably be the biggest boost to the Scottish Independence movement, ever. The only question then would be – just how would the Scottish National Party blow the opportunity?

This is not a good England team – for all he was, in my view, vastly over-rated, the don't have a defensive organiser anywhere close to Bobby Moore's class. Granted, Harry Kane and Jude Bellingham are World Class, Jordan Pickford is a more than capable goalkeeper, but, they have been joined in the squad by one or two who would not get into the Scotland squad.

But, they have ridden their luck and are in the final four, perhaps the best time for them to go out – just as English expectations hit peak hysteria. If they do reach the final, then lose, their media will still sell it as a triumph. Win it, Kane gets his K (knighthood) – lose in the final, he only gets a CBE. Go out in the semi, he maybe gets an OBE.

Meanwhile, Stevie Clarke will be denied the knighthood his stewardship of our team merits.

However, I reckon England is the weakest of the final four sides, but, as old Napoleon Bonaparte insisted: “Give me a General who is lucky” and Thomas Tuchel is certainly riding his luck thus far. Received wisdom has it that France and Spain are the two best sides left, then the argument is over how you rate the other two. Of course, The Donald has been involved in this World Cup and the eventual result could all come down to which nation he wants to win it – and how Infantino pauchles it to get that outcome. Indeed, the only reason I can think of for having England in the final would be to hear what sort of abuse their fans came up with to hurl at The Donald, and how FIFA and the American broadcasters tried to counter that abuse.

THE WORLD CUP hasn't finished yet, but, already, we are into Season 2026-27. The first games in the League Cup kicked off on Saturday, while this midweek sees the first qualifying rounds of the three European competitions concluded. We should perhaps be grateful, the Scottish Professional Football League still has sufficient status to keep our clubs out of these games, but, for how much longer?

It used to be, the fitbas remained in the cupboards until at least the new Open Golf Champion had been crowned.Covering The Open gave our leading fitba writers the chance to demonstrate they could write sensibly on topics other than The Old Firm, it was an enjoyable wee break before the season-long grind of trying to make the duopoly at the top interesting.

My favourite story of Scotland's top fitba writers covering The Open concerns the legend that was Ian “Dan” Archer. Dan covered Sandy Lyle's iconic Open win at Royal St George's in 1985; while he was there he took the opportunity, afforded by the superfast hovercraft service from Dover to Calais, to nip across the channel and enjoy a leisurely lunch at a three-star Michelin eatery just outside Calais – now, that's class. He was still back on the course and able to file his copy in time.

Of course, the best fitba person's Open experience has to be that enjoyed by the former St Mirren director, a gentleman high-up in the banking profession, who had, at very short notice, to arrange accommodation at one Open for Sevvy Ballesteros' father-in-law, who was a honcho for a major Spanish bank.

Our man pulled this off by getting one local manager to vacate his executive house in favour of the Spanish party. The fixer's reward was, on the Sunday, the final round, he was invited to watch the play from inside the ropes, as a member of the Ballesteros posse. As he told me on the following Monday: “After you've watched the final round of The Open from inside the ropes – you never go back to paying to watch.”

THE DRAW for the first two rounds of the Scottish Communities Cup (the Junior Cup as was) was made over the weekend. I found a corker in the second round, with Dufftown: “The malt whisky capital of the world” bracing itself for an invasion from the travelling hordes who follow the mighty Auchinleck Talbot.

The good people of Dufftown are well used to having their peace shattered by visiting American tourists, plus other visitors from elsewhere. I think, however, they will never have seen anything like the Talbot Bees who will follow their side as they embark on the campaign to win the magnificent trophy for a record-stretching 16^th time.

What they will make of the unique Talbot anthem: Eeka Peeka Pucka Po I do not know.

FINALLY – While Fleet Street will be pulling out every trick in the book for Jude Bellingham, for me, the real star of this World Cup is whoever writes the Paddy Power ads. His/her latest – a preview of England v Argentina is hilarious, saying what most of Scotland and Ireland is thinking.