WE HAVE a number of Ayrshire-specific phrases in common use in these sunny uplands of God's County. One in particular comes to my mind this morning: "He'll be takin tae the watter shortly" - meaning somebody is so close to despair he will shortly be found, floating face-down in one of our rivers, having ended it all. For, jumping from bridges and viaducts has long been the chosen method of ending it all around here.
Given the other time-honoured cliche around here - that you get a photograph of King Billy on his (mythical) white horse, to hang above the fireplace when you get the keys to your Council house - then, I can see a few of the many Rangers supporters around here, perhaps ending it all, after last night's diddy cup loss to Alloa Athletic.
Of course, it might well be - the Tribute Act cannot afford the severance deal to be shot of Ally McCoist, but, that any manager of any Ibrox outfit should NOT fall on his sword after his side surrendered a two-goal lead in the closing minutes of a game - that is not the way things were done, when real Rangers had Dignity.
It has been clear for yonks, good "Rangers Man" that he is, Alistair is way, way out of his depth as a manager. Still, he survives. It simply does not make sense.
But, does anything around what was once Scotland's premier club make sense these days?
AND speaking of Scotland's premier club. The current owners of that title didn't cover themselves in glory with their reaction to Anne Budge's comments re Sunday's Tynecastle cup tie.
Isn't it amazing how, even in the face of solid evidence of unacceptable behaviour from some of their fans, Celtic are seemingly unable to hold their hand up and say: "Fair cop gov' you've got me bang to rights".
It is never Celtic's fault, there is always some other reason why the GFITW misbehave.
Scottish football simply shrugs and says: "Aye, that's the Celtic way".
Face it, it hasn't changed since about 1909 and it will not change any time soon - the Celtic Family and Ra Peepul who follow the Tribute Act are two cheeks of the same erse and, until Scottish football really starts to hammer them, we are stuck with them.
Of course, the problem is not football's alone, but efforts to curb sectarianism keep failing, not least through the hurriedly-introduced bad law we now work under.