The Old Firm In England - Paper Talk But Not A Good Story

YAWN!! The imminent departure of the Old Firm for England is back on the agenda. Aye Right. Pardon the cynicism, but, I have been seeing the departure of the Bigot Brothers for English football being forecast for most of the last 25-years, roughly since Sky began to pour millions into the top flight south of the Solway. Make no mistake, both clubs would go in an instant, without a backward glance, but will they – this time? Personally, I doubt it. If the English Premiership was to invite the two clubs, and again, let their be no mistake – in England, much though the wilder elements in the Celtic Family will try to deny this – the two big Glasgow clubs are seen as a job lot, both go, or neither goes – it is only to the Premiership that they will go, speedily, without a backward glance. But, the plans which have come out this week would, should they be invited to transfer to English football, or should they choose to put themselves forward to join it, would call for the pair to join the new Fourth Division of the Football League – the fifth tier in England. This would mean, no European football for perhaps five seasons. No, I don't see two clubs with a guid conceit o' themselves voluntarily dropping out of Europe for that long.   Leaving aside promotion and relegation, let's assume the new fourth division was to be starting in August, with the new season – here is how it would look: The Championship – Burnley, Middlesbrough, Brighton, Hull City, Derby County, Sheffield Wednesday, Ipswich Town, Cardiff City, Brentford, Birmingham City, Preston North End, Queen's Park Rangers, Leeds United, Wolverhampton Wanderers, Blackburn Rovers, Nottingham Forest, Reading, Bristol City, Huddersfield Town, Fulham. League One - Rotherham United, Charlton Athletic, MK Dons, Bolton Wanderers, Wigan Athletic, Burton Albion, Walsall, Millwall, Bradford City, Barnsley, Scunthorpe United, Coventry City, Gillingham, Rochdale, Sheffield United, Port Vale, Peterborough United, Bury, Southend United, Swindon Town. League Two – Oldham Athletic, Chesterfield, Fleetwood United, Shrewsbury Town, Doncaster Rovers, Blackpool, Colchester United, Crewe Alexandria, Northampton Town, Oxford United, Bristol Rovers, Accrington Stanley, Plymouth Argyle, Portsmouth, Wimbledon, Leyton Orient, Cambridge United, Carlisle United, Luton Town, Mansfield Town. League Three – Wycombe Wanderers, Exeter City, Barnet, Hartlepool United, Notts County, Stevenage Borough, Yeovil, Crawley Town, Morecambe, Newport, Dagenham & Redbridge, York City, plus eight new clubs from Celtic and Rangers, plus the top eight in the National League – the top level in England below the Football League. Currently these top eight clubs are – Cheltenham Town, Forest Green Rovers, Braintree, Grimsby Town, Dover United, Tranmere Rovers, Eastleigh, Wrexham. I cannot in all honesty see the National League's management committee washing their hands of two of their clubs, to allow the Old Firm straightforward entry to the Football League. I can remember when new clubs had to be voted into the Football League. For years, Hartlepool United,like East Stirlingshire up here, seemed to be perennially voted back in, after finishing bottom. It took the non-league clubs a long time to establish the practice of automatic promotion and relegation between the top end of the English Non-League Pyramid and the Football League. I cannot see these clubs standing aside easily, if the Football League was to try to introduce Celtic and Rangers, I could see a long and costly legal challenge to the plan. The idea of travelling to Old Trafford, Anfield, Stamford Bridge, The Emirates etc, yes, that holds an attraction for the Old Firm fans, but, Crawley, Dagenham, Grimsby, Dover? No, I don't see either the Follow-Follow brigade or The Greatest Fans In The World being too keen on visiting such hotbeds of football. Also, I could see the travelling Scottish fans being the most-unpopular visitors to England since Bonnie Prince Charlie and his Highlanders called in 1745. Millwall v Rangers for instance – that, to me, spells sleepless nights for the Metropolitan Police's Divisional and Match Commanders. And let's not beat about the bush here, both lots, especially given well-publicised trips to Newcastle and Manchester, Ra Peepul, have “form” when it comes to causing bother in England. Ra Peepul making an erse of themselves in Manchester in 2008 Celtic haven't been involved in such major outbreaks of civil disorder, but, their fans too have let the club down badly on trips to England. And, what of the effect on Scottish football? Since this notion of departure surfaced in midweek, I have seen some fans of other clubs showing delight: “Don't let the door hit your erse on the wey oot”, is a typical reaction from elsewhere. OK, the notion of Champions League and Europa League football being available to others is a welcome one, but, some clubs would miss the added revenue games against the Old Firm bring. Many a struggling League One or Two club has seen their fortunes markedly changed by a indly cup draw for instance. I think the rest of Scottish football would miss them. It might happen, but, all things considered, I cannot see it. Never mind, it is good click-bait for the newspaper websites.