Well Done Girls, Our Media Was Too Polite To Say This

I DESPAIR of our mainstream sports media. By a country mile, the biggest story in Scottish football in the past week was – SCOTLAND QUALIFIED FOR A MAJOR CHAMPIONSHIPS FINALS.

OK, it was “ONLY” our Women's team who did it, but, at the end of this season, when the UEFA Women's European Football Championship Finals kick-off in the Netherlands – the Saltire will be flying amongs the flags of the competing nations, and Flower of Scotland will be heard before some games. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it all our managers and players who have failed to qualify for nine successive tournaments – and counting.

Anna Signeul and her girls have done us proud, we should be celebrating their success. But, sadly, misogyny still rules in too-many sports departments, indeed, coverage of Women's Football in Scotland is virtually a one-man cottage industry. The women's game, which is, in many ways leading the men's game, is all-but-ignored when it comes to allocating column inches.

So, the girls going to the Netherlands was a feel-good story in a week when we were all down after Celtic's Nou Camp hammering, but, what was THE big story of the second half of the week – why, surprise, surprise, Joey Barton had thrown a wobbler. Well, did anyone NOT see that one coming?

Once Mr Barton signed for Rangers, it was always a case of when, not if, he had a meltdown. With Joey boy, shit definitely happens.

All we need now is for the girls to get out of the group stages and into the knock-out phase in the Netherlands in June, then it should be big reddies all round for the blazers in the Hampden corridors of power – except it won't be: they'll all be over there, enjoying the hospitality and trying to tell the stenographers they always knew our women were leading the way.

THE other bit of earth-shattering news in football this week was: Glenafton Athletic beat Auchinlec Talbot 3-1 at Loch Park. Now, the Glen beating Talbot is not new, what is new is, this is the second straight week in which Tucker Sloan's men have shipped three goals and Talbot historians such as “Jumbo” McAuley are already consulting the tablets to find-out when last that happened.

OK, they have a couple of games in hand over the early pace setters, but, Talbot are in the bottom half of the West Superleague Premiership, and I don't ever recall seeing that.

One of my oldest friends, an Affleck man who lived-out his fantasy by playing centre midfield for Talbot, these many years in the Sudetenland, was in-touch yesterday, asking what was happening. He is in shock.

But, I am sure, this is a temporary blip, maybe a typically devious Auchinleck ploy to try to get decent odds against their team reclaiming the Scottish Junior Cup this season.

PELE was in Glasgow last week – another peripheral football event which got more coverage than our Women's team's qualification. This gives me a chance to tell a funny.

When first in Scotland, for a pre-World Cup warm-up match against Scotland in 1966, Pele and the Brazil team, then the defending World Champions, were billeted at Troon's Marine Hotel, and they trained at Portland Park, home of Troon Juniors.

Among those who went down to watch Brazil training was Alex McMenemy, one of the stalwarts of Scottish Schools football and Director of Football at Renfrew High School, long before Directors of Football had been thought-of. During his trip to Troon, Alex got his photie taken with Pele and, for many years, it took pride of place in his office at the school.

Fast forward to the late 1990s, and Alex round-up a couple of wee First Year boys to carry some stuff into his office – he was by now Depute Rector. The first wee boy puts his load down and spies the picture of Alex with Pele.

“Haw Sur, dae you ken him”? Was the question. Alex replied that, yes, as the picture of them shaking hands showed, he had indeed met that particular footballer.

The youngster turned to his pal: “Haw Wullie, luk, Mr McMenemy kens Mark Walters”.

THE first big game at the new multi-million pound Oriam Centre, just outside Edinburgh, takes place next week, when Scotland's Under-16 squad takes on France.

The Scotland squad is:

Goalkeepers

Ryan Mullen (Celtic)
Archie Mair (Aberdeen)

Defenders

Taylor Wilson (Hamilton)
Andrew Kerr (Celtic)
Nathan Patterson (Rangers)
Chris Hamilton (Hearts)
Kane O’Connor (Hibernian)

Midfielders

Marc Leonard (Hearts)
Harry Cochrane (Hearts)
Terry Taylor (Aberdeen)
Dean Campbell (Aberdeen)
Ethan Erhahon (St Mirren)
Billy Gilmour (Rangers)

Forwards

Kieran McGrath (Celtic)
Zac Butterworth (Rangers)
Jamie Semple (Motherwell)
Anthony McDonald (Hearts)
Joshua McPake (Rangers)

These boys are all Under-16, therefore, all were born after 2000. It will perhaps be interesting to look back, in say ten years' time, to see how many made it all the way through from Under-16 to the full Scotland squad. I'll wager there was more chance of the best Under-16 players born in 1900 going all the way than there is for these 21^st century tyros.