THE text of today's sermon is drawn from the secret rule book of the SJFA, reading from the second chapter, at the first verse:
"We cannae let thae Ayrshire bar stewards huv too-muny teams in the later roons o' the Scottish Cup."
Yea, verily, it came to pass that, in 2014 the horrible prospect arose of potentially four Ayrshire clubs progressing into the last four of that wonderful competition, for one of the most over-the-top yet elegant trophies in all of football.
The quarter-final draw, which is scandalously under-reported in the MSM, has thrown-up the chance of four semi-finalists from God's own county - AND NO AUCHINLECK TALBOT!!!!
Mind you, I vouch, I am not the only fitba man in these quiet, rolling hills of South Ayrshire, who is convinced that the Hampden oval ball and square ball were in evidence in the draw - how else can we read the fact that Scumnock v the Glen comes out as the first quarter-final tie, this is the one possible pairing from the teams left which could come close to filling Rugby Park for the final - as the whole of the rest of Cumnock and Doon Valley decamped to Killie to try to help the Glen stop the common enemy.
Still, Townhead will be jumping for the last eight match, and, from the way the Glen rode their luck in seeing off Shotts in the fifth round, who is to say Tommy Bryce's boys might not be able to end Scumnock's hopes of landing the Scottish in their Centenary season.
Fans of the final being reduced to a genuine, old-fashioned junior kicing match for the final, such as me - I still recall with relish the 1994 "Game of Shame" between the Glen and Largs, which saw more Govan Kisses delivered in that part of Govan than for many years previously. Well, should the Glen and Hurlford United go all the way - it could happen again.
I SEE Sir Alex has revealed he still has his old primary teacher's "strap", bequeathed to him on the basis, he had had more use of it than anyone.
Don't believe that for a second. I reckon he stole it on his last day at Broomloan Primary and kept it; and that, all that talk of "hair dryers" was a smoke-screen. He used his purloined "Lochgelly Persuader" to get great results out of all those big-name players
I can just visualise all those half-time team talks; Fergie, pacing up and down in front of his team, pulls out his Lochgelly and speaks: "Beckham, Scholes, Giggs - see if youse disnae overturn that two-goal deficit and score a third in this half, youse is each gettin' six o' the best when youse does come in at time-up: noo, get ott there and get playin'"; cue a great second-half turn round as fear kicks in.
REGULAR readers will know, I don't have a lot of time for Mad Phil from Donegal, but, on the subject of the King in South Africa, I have to admit, I think he is spot-on. As was the late Paul McConville, whose disection of the South African court verdict on the would-be Apprentice Boy of Ibrox. That should be compulsory reading for all with an interest in current events down Edmiston Drive way.
A final word on the new Scotland change strip. Of the many people to whom I have spoken on this vexing subject, only one, my grand-daughter, has expressed an: "I like it" opinion on the new strip.
So that's it, 15-year-old girls is the market the SFA are after. But, to be fair to her, she did add that she didn't think it looked nice on blokes, particularly on Scott Brown!!
STILL, loosely, on the subject of 15-year-old girls. Did you see how many fans Doncaster Rovers pulled into a reserve game this week, by simply allowing one member of One Direction - who I understand are: "a popular music group", play for them.
Five thousand, five hundred!!! Jings, Crivvens, Help Ma Boab, that's more than most SPFL Premiership clubs can pull in for a home first-team game not involving the Hoops.
What next, Paolo Natini playing centre midfield for St Mirren? The Proclaimers as the two centre-backs for Hibs? Rod Stewart playing just off the striker for Celtic - although, to be fair, he'd probably be more use than Gorgeous Giorgios on a wet day.
I can just visualise all those half-time team talks; Fergie, pacing up and down in front of his team, pulls out his Lochgelly and speaks: "Beckham, Scholes, Giggs - see if youse disnae overturn that two-goal deficit and score a third in this half, youse is each gettin' six o' the best when youse does come in at time-up: noo, get ott there and get playin'"; cue a great second-half turn round as fear kicks in.
REGULAR readers will know, I don't have a lot of time for Mad Phil from Donegal, but, on the subject of the King in South Africa, I have to admit, I think he is spot-on. As was the late Paul McConville, whose disection of the South African court verdict on the would-be Apprentice Boy of Ibrox. That should be compulsory reading for all with an interest in current events down Edmiston Drive way.
A final word on the new Scotland change strip. Of the many people to whom I have spoken on this vexing subject, only one, my grand-daughter, has expressed an: "I like it" opinion on the new strip.
So that's it, 15-year-old girls is the market the SFA are after. But, to be fair to her, she did add that she didn't think it looked nice on blokes, particularly on Scott Brown!!
STILL, loosely, on the subject of 15-year-old girls. Did you see how many fans Doncaster Rovers pulled into a reserve game this week, by simply allowing one member of One Direction - who I understand are: "a popular music group", play for them.
Five thousand, five hundred!!! Jings, Crivvens, Help Ma Boab, that's more than most SPFL Premiership clubs can pull in for a home first-team game not involving the Hoops.
What next, Paolo Natini playing centre midfield for St Mirren? The Proclaimers as the two centre-backs for Hibs? Rod Stewart playing just off the striker for Celtic - although, to be fair, he'd probably be more use than Gorgeous Giorgios on a wet day.
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